LIVING WITH LUPUS | Diana B

“Paralysis
Vision loss
Coma
3 month hospital stay
TTP
TIA
Low blood count
Blood clots
Painful joints and muscles
Fighting death 3 times, to name a few things I have been through and continue to battle.

This is what lupus looks like to me. My battle with this disease has brought me to my knees so many times. It has left me in tears as my muscles feel like they are being sawed with a knife. Needing help getting dressed, bathing, eating, feeling like a huge burden on your family. Visiting the ER so many times with the doctors not understanding this illness and sending you home without help. Feeling isolated and alone.

I have gone through depression with loud thoughts that have almost led me to do irreversible things. You feel alone and that no one understands. This disease has brought me low platelet counts with TTP, pulmonary embolisms and ongoing difficulty breathing, TIA which is a mini stroke, to name a few life threatening events that have happened. Daily struggles with a fatigue that no one understands, feeling like you constantly have the flu but you manage to put on a smile and carry on without people knowing just how much pain you are in. Everyone thinks you look great but knowing inside you are breaking. Through this, I have found hope through my girls and my husband.

Lupus has left me for dead 3 times but my determination and my family have helped get me through. I am steadfast to raise the awareness and education of this disease not only for myself but for my 2 girls who also have lupus. I do not want them to suffer the way I have and am. I will help find and fund a cure in their lifetime, if not mine! Lupus has a stronghold on me but I will beat it. I have lupus but lupus does not have me!”

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